cunningas: (say cheeeese!)
First off, nothing for me in Visual Sleaze? What the hell? You nominate Hermes for best ass and can't even bother to give me a nod for any-fucking-thing? Have you seen my chest? It's damn sexy, if I do say so myself. And my smile! What's not to love about my smile? And there's no fuckin' way you've seen better hair that this, baby. Ye gods, I'm offended by the lot of you.

And now, to talk about shit I was actually nominated for....

SEX on the Internet

Biggest Slut? Can't say I disagree. And if you'd like to have proof, I'm perfectly willing to be whoever you want me to be trade sexual favors for a vote.

Best Sexual Skills. *beams* Damn straight, loves, and as before, quite willing to demonstrate, if need be, but honestly? There's no way you can argue with thousands of years of experience and more lovers than I can remember to count.

A nod for Muse Who Would Make a Great Porn Star. There's something I ought to try. Who would buy my tapes?

A nod for Muse You Most Want to Spank. I'm down with that.

All that said, why doesn't anybody want to pounce me? *pout*

Fun Stuff

Muse Most in Need of Chastity Belt - Gotta say, Jon's got this one locked up. So surprise the world! Vote for me instead! But try to actually get one of those things on me and you'll draw back a nub.

A nod for Favorite Non-Human - Aw, somebody out there likes me! Really, really likes me!

A nod for Muse You Miss the Most - Come by and see me anytime, luv, whoever you are.

About Biggest Bitch: There's someone not on that top five that should be. Her name sounds like Pay-though.

About Biggest Flirt: I flirt with fuckin' EVERYBODY, and not even a nod? Tsk, tsk.

Glad to see no one wants to torture me in the bad way but anybody who wants to in the good way? Call me.

I'm not sure if I should be pleased or not about not getting mentioned for Most Evil Villain.

Most and Least Wanted

Least: Child. I'll have you know my parents didn't have one whit of trouble with me as a kid.

Least: Cellmate. I got nothin'.

And I got nothin' else to say about these.

Outstanding Writing and Roleplay

Favorite Event RP - My birthday party! Aw! Tell you what, you guys vote for me in that category and if I win? I'll totally throw another party in September. Who cares if it hasn't been a year?

Best Sex Thread - Amy and Krycek and said birthday party. Okay, so I didn't have any of the sexing to do, but....IT NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT ME! So vote for it, bitches.

Roleplay Fight or Battle. Yeah. Uhm. Right. Wasn't much of a fight, really. What with me killing him while he stood there and all, but yeah...

Oh yeah! Forgot one! Best RP Thread - Attack of the Kitties. Also totally wouldn't have happened without me, so you'd darn well better vote for it. Or......I'll turn you into a kitten! Mwahahahaha!

And lastly. I see that [livejournal.com profile] lokis_lady has been nominated for best legs. If you have any doubts about whether you ought to vote for her, please view Exhibits One, Two, Three, Four, and Five and lay your fears at rest, she is definitely the one you want to vote for. I know I will. *beam!* [mun notes that images are not exactly work safe, and rather large to boot]

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Loki

December 2013

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