cunningas: (cry)
His world was over.

Might as well let Ragnarok occur now. Just get it over with. Where's Heimdall with a fucking sword when you need the fucker?

A part of him is yelling, kicking, screaming inside of his head for him to get the fuck over it and to grow the hell up and to stop being such a fucking whiner cry baby and other such things. That part of him is probably right. None of anything he's done in the past couple of days is like him. He knows what could stop it, but...there's a problem.

He.

Doesn't.

Want.

To.

That's not to say he likes his state of mind right now, or anything about anything that's going on with him right now. There's really nothing for him now. Hermes is dead. Anne hates him again -- and that thought just about kills him there. The other love of his life, if he'd ever be man enough to admit it, is useless to him now as he would look at her and only want to see Anne and he knows it and he cares for her enough to not taint her image that way. There is no one else. Nothing else.

He's made a living out of keeping everyone in his life at arm's length or further and now those he's let be closest to him are those he's pushed farther away than any. Are those that he could never even look at again.

And still, he doesn't want to give it up. He doesn't want to go back to what he was. He's known love now. True, full, all-encompassing love. He knows at a certainty that to go back to what he was, to give in, to take the potion will be to give this up, to let the memory fade, to forget.

A maybe, just maybe, this anguish crushing his heart now is fitting. He deserves for what he's done. He deserves it for playing along with Eris in the first place. He-...

He should just go back to his rock.

........

Did he just think that? Okay, maybe that shouty part of him has a point. That's even too whiny and emo for him in this state. That's just. No. He refuses that one. Ain't gonna happen.

Yeah, the situation sucks a big one, yeah, he doesn't see a way out of things for once but that's totally not the solution. No. Rocks.

Well, okay, he knows what he can't do. Now what can he do?

There's always the option of getting more of that original potion to offer up to Anne somehow. To get her back. He needs her. But can he do that now? Can he love her as much as he does, as deeply as he does, and knowingly force her into something she doesn't want? Can he live with knowing he'd be making her falsely love him for the rest of eternity? Is he really that selfish?

Hm. Seems to be a yes on all counts.

Okay, so there's an idea.

Hermes? Oh, ouch. He-...he can't do anything about that. It's done. Over with. He had to do it. He doesn't regret it. Not at all. Really. Time to move on.

Bastard should've known it would happen eventually anyway. Hermes knew what sort of person Loki was, after all.

That's taken care of. Truly.

Sigyn? He just...has to keep doing what he was doing before. Just don't go see her. She'll be so busy baking she won't even notice.

So, no problems there.

So now, he needs to go fetch his true beloved. He needs to pull the scraps of his life together.

He needs to hold on to the last little thing that might help him hang on to what's left of his sanity.
cunningas: (sex)
And Loki and Anne >PoOf< into Loki's abode. The real one he like, never, invites anyone to. It's filled with all sorts of pretties he's collected over the years and yet it doesn't feel cluttered. Mostly it feels rich and luxurious and very, very sensual.

Perfect setting, after all.

And completely, utterly, totally private.

Hoo-rah.

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cunningas: (Default)
Loki

December 2013

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